Poetry by MAURY WHITE, ESQ. **** Hello Mr. Lawyer, I’m sorry to report I think it’s time for me to take my husband to court. I don’t want to go to the cleaners and I only want what’s fair, What can you do for me and will you really care? We do not like court of course I’ve heard there’s a different way to divorce. But who will represent the scoundrel? He said he’ll find a shark. I fear he’ll hide the money and keep me in the dark. Do not fear the darkness, the best are in our group. We will give him a list of lawyer names They’ll each give him the straight poop. We do not like court,...
COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE HELPS THE CHILDREN
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By Dr. Karen Gail Lewis When two people decide the love they thought would last forever doesn’t, sadness reigns. Sad, yes, but not necessarily destructive. If couples divorce with dignity and respect, their children benefit. Traditionally, the best divorce was to hire a shark who would help the wife “take him for everything he’s got.” And, help the husband, “make sure she doesn’t get a dime.” With Collaborative Divorce, couples no longer need a shark. Collaborative Divorce is relatively new, moving across North America, Europe, and Australia, leaving well adjusted children and cooperative co-parents in its wake. Collaborative...
The Harvard Principled Negotiation
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A Question and Answer session with Florence Gladel, the European pioneer on the subject of “The Harvard Principled Negotiation”. Avocat Gladel will be presenting on this topic at the Ordre Des Avocats Du Barreau De Paris (Paris Bar Association) on July 6, 2012 in Paris. The workshop is titled “The Harvard Principled Negotiation” She would be delighted to have you attend and discuss collaborative practice in France. What is the Harvard Principle Negotiation? Florence GLADEL: Roger Fischer and William Ury, two US lawyers and professors at Harvard, are the authors of the seminal book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving...
Talking With….Woody Mosten, 7
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What skills and attitudes are involved in being a Collaborative Practice professional? In being a ‘peacemaker’? How do we work with others who might have ‘slipped’ from their best attitudes and skills? Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comment section below. Today’s Guest: Mark B. Baer, JD Pasadena, CA www.markbaeresq.com Here’s a piece by Mark that we’ve published. (Would you like to join us for a future conversation? We’ll have room for up to four people. Sign up here for our email list. We send out notices and details of when and how you can join in the discussion.)...
“Talking With….” Linda Solomon
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Using the Collaborative Process gives a divorcing couple access to ‘coaches’, licensed mental health professionals who will support them in many ways through the process. Linda Solomon, LPC, LMFT shares with us why having such a person involved in the process is of benefit. She answers questions that many people have about how that works, how it can save money, and how working with such a person can actually help to begin the healing process and form the beginnings of the way their new relationship will look and work. Here’s our conversation: Click below to hear this interview that Linda did with Public Media...
Talking With…. Woody Mosten, 6
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“I’m ‘collaborative’ and you’re not.” How do we work then that comes up? What does it mean? These questions are at the center of our discussion today. We first cover the situation of one professional not having received even Basic Collaborative Practice training. We talk as well about the role Practice Groups can play here. And we found that this is a topic that will likely carry us through several sessions. Later in the conversation we also talked about how that interplays with the differing challenges facing the members of each profession approaching Collaborative Practice. Don’t forget to...
Divorce – Easing the Children’s Transition from Li...
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by Lee Chabin, Esq. Divorce is hard on adults and children alike. But, unlike adults, children have little or no say in what happens. Even if you were not the one to initiate the divorce, no doubt there are many decisions you will get to (have to?) make, perhaps including whether to remain at your current job, and which neighborhood to live in. Our kids, on the other hand, will live and attend school where we (or a judge) decide. None of us like to feel out of control, and where we can, it is wise to grant our children the power to make their own decisions – up to a point. Let’s take the example of a new home. Pretend that you have...
Talking With…. Woody Mosten, 5
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How does a new trainee break into Collaborative Practice? How do Collaborative Practice and Mediation ‘relate’? Is one necessary or sufficient for the other? These questions are at the center of our discussion today. Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comment section below. Today’s Guests: Carol Miller, LCPC Downers Grove, IL Profile Kevin Scudder, JD Seattle, WA www.scudderlaw.net (Would you like to join us for our next conversation? We’ll have room for up to four people. Sign up here for our email list. We send out notices and details of when and how you can join in the discussion.)...
Are You Facilitating the Creation of a Post-Divorc...
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Like it or not, if there are children of the relationship (regardless of their age), the family still exists after the relationship ends. The manner in which you end a relationship determines whether your family will be functional or dysfunctional from that day forward. Abraham Lincoln’s Notes for a Law Lecture dated July 1, 1850, provide in pertinent part as follows: “Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser — in fees, expenses, and waste of time. As a peacemaker the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man. There will...
Shifting back into &...
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Working in Collaborative Practice involves a very different mindset from that with which many of us approach litigation. Often times something we say or do can be a very good cue for us to ask ourselves…. “how am I thinking? how am I looking at this? am I...
The Counselor and th...
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BOOK REVIEW If you are a mental health professional engaged in collaborative practice, The Counselor and the Law is a must read. While the legal references relate to the law within the United States, the issues raised are relevant to all mental health professionals around the globe. The...
Talking With…. Lynda Robbins, IACP President
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Lynda talks about several questions, including some submitted from our readers, such as What is IACP? What does it do for its members? How does it support the growth of CP around the world? the growth into ‘other than divorce’ areas? If I’m not a professional, why should I care about IACP? What can I get from a visit to the website? Why should I care if my professional is a member or not? Have more questions? Post them as a comment below and we’ll approach Lynda again as soon as she’s available. Among the resources Lynda mentions as available on the IACP website is this video Collaborative Divorce:...
The Harvard Principl...
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The Harvard Principled Negotiation which is already in use in more than 80 countries has conquered France. This negotiation method is a win-win method. The aim of the method is to safeguard all the parties’ interests during the negotiation stages while reaching an equitable agreement between...
Keys to Successful Mediation: Understanding Brain ...
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Mediators know all too well that their clients can take positional stances that are hostile and effectively block the creative thinking necessary to reach an equitable settlement. Positional stances taken by clients and their counsel are a natural result of the brain’s dual wiring for competition and cooperation. These processes are in-born; however, the competitive tendency is slightly stronger than the cooperative one and the parts of the brain used for each are protected in very different ways. The competitive instinct is well protected between the temporal lobe and cerebral cortex hidden in the fold. The cooperative tendency depends...
Talking With…. Woody Mosten, 4
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Guest Stacey Langenbahn has stepped out of her comfort zone big time. She is offering Mediation services in a way that is uncommon on her home turf. We discuss the elements of Collaborative Practice that contributed to her step. And along the way, a little bit about the challenges of ‘standing out’. [For reference, in her area Mediation is rarely if ever available except as a ‘last effort’ just before trial. Stacey offers it PRE-court.] Today’s Guest: Stacey Langenbahn Cooleyville, TX www.divorcemediationtexas.com (Would you like to join us for our next conversation? We’ll have room for up to...
Conflict Styles: An ...
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In the heat of a conflict when emotions are high, what do you do? Do you ignore the issues and bury them or do you let the other person have their way? Human beings are predisposed to respond to conflict in a certain manner. Conflict style is a general way of thinking about and responding...
Talking With…. Pauline Tesler
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Few names are as well known world wide in connection with Collaborative Practice as that of Pauline Tesler. Pauline shares her journey into Collaborative Practice and talks about the attorney’s influence as part of the ‘system’ created in working with a divorcing couple, including team and practice group implications. Which leads into discussion of her current work as the director of Commonweal’s brand new Integrative Law Institute to expand the “Law as a Healing Profession” attitude at the core of CP into all legal endeavors. Her first offering there is available here. *************...
Talking With…. Woody Mosten, 3
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Sometimes even the best intentioned professionals’ Collaborative efforts can deteriorate into basic negotiations. From building an agreement together, things lapse into exchanging proposals. How can we avoid that and what can we do to return if it happens? This is the question that guest Billie Grissom brings as we continue our conversation with Woody. Deferral to the needs of the client, our own personal growth, the indispensable value of our CP ‘group’…. are among the topics embraced in connection with her question. We even meet Woody’s “Dispute Resolution Assistant” Rebecca. Guest: ...
Talking with…. Woody Mosten, 2
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Woody and carl Michael talk about educating ‘the public’ vs teaching our colleagues about Collaborative Practice and the depths to which that public education can go, even toward preventing conflict [first clip]; and Woody shares a bit about his own journey into Peacemaking, how the paradigm shift manifests, and about various expansions to meet clients needs while still remaining focused on peace, including incorporating litigation consultants and talk of potential outcomes in court. [second clip]….. Couple of the references are to: The National Center for Preventive Law and Americans For the Department of Peace...
Collaborative Practice in Other than Divorce Matte...
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Sherrie Abney and Lawrence Maxwell share what’s been going on and where it can go. Over twenty years ago a Minnesota family attorney, Stu Webb, created the collaborative dispute resolution process. Collaborative Law continues to progress nicely in the family arena. Collaborative law is an exciting tool in the alternative dispute resolution tool box. The process enables individuals, families, businesses and organizations to maintain control over their relationships with others by empowering them with the ability to resolve their disputes peaceably. Why don’t more people use the collaborative process to resolve civil disputes? For the...
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