Many times people feel frustrated when they meet with an attorney about their divorce. You have had the courage to make the appointment. You are overwhelmed with questions and needs. Your marriage is falling apart and this lawyer does not seem to get it. She/he is asking you all kinds of questions yet this lawyer seems to be either unable or simply unwilling to answer your simplest questions! How long will this take? How much will it cost? What will I end up with? What do you mean “it depends”; I thought you were an ‘expert’?!?! The basic source of the frustration you feel is that you and the attorney are...
Talking With…. A Collaboratively Divorced Co...
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In September of 2013, the Nelsons marriage was dissolved. They had made a choice from the start that they wanted to avoid conflict, argument, acrimony. So they used the Collaborative Practice process to reach the decisions they needed in order to end their marriage. They very generously agreed to chat about their difficult but positive experience and share their encouragement that other couples use the process that served them well. With much thanks to Pamela and Tyler Nelson, and to their attorneys Joryn Jenkins and Adam B. Cordover, here is our chat: Note for professionals: Adam and Joryn are very involved in the Collaborative Divorce...
RESISTANCE TO RESILIENCE: USING APOLOGY TO UNLOCK ...
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A properly formulated apology can both provide consolation and restore integrity between clients in dispute resolution. Facilitators can encourage apologies to clear the air, relieve stress and create an atmosphere of improved communication to achieve settlement. In addition to these substantial process benefits, an apology has the potential to transform the participants through neurological changes which impact the attitude of everyone at the table. The facilitator, in collaboration or mediation, has an opportunity to address barriers to communication by recognizing that particular incidents or events may be at the heart of conflict and...
Why Pro Bono Collaborative Divorces … and How
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I have always been a trial lawyer. And I am, among other things, a family lawyer. So, in the old days, I used to do divorces pro bono because it was an easy way for me to give back to my community. And I believe in giving back to the community. So that was a no-brainer. After I a couple of years giving back in this fashion, I became dis-enamored with the concept. Why? Well, when your lawyer is free, and when the opposing party is representing himself because he is too poor to afford the luxury of a lawyer, that leaves YOU BOTH free to fight over every little thing, including the broken dishwasher. Oy, vey! So I told our local...
GOING HOME – 2 of 3: INTER-PRACTICE GROUP RE...
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What makes for effective Collaborative Practice? The author shares thoughts gleaned from a personal journey. [part 1 is here] Good Practice Group health is essential to the health of Collaborative Practice as a whole. Most of the energy that we put into our practice group work involves intra-Practice Group relations. “Intra” denotes “inside” or “internal”. Intra-Practice Group relations describes everything we do individually within each of our practice groups, from attending meetings, studying Collaborative literature, attending trainings, networking, public speaking, making presentations, and developing relationships with other...
FLORIDA’S FIRST PRO BONO COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE
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BEGINNING ANEW COLLABORATIVELY Not all divorcing spouses want to engage in nasty court battles. Such is the case of Tyler Nelson and Pamela Burton, who decided to end their marriage on an amicable basis without consuming years in costly and contentious litigation. They decided to use a form of private dispute resolution known as collaborative divorce for their child’s sake, under the tutelage of trained professionals, to forge a new and different bond as co-parents for the rest of their lives. And, on September 20, 2013, they set a precedent as the first pro bono collaborative divorce ever completed in the state of Florida. [The term...
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