Many times people feel frustrated when they meet with an attorney about their divorce. You have had the courage to make the appointment. You are overwhelmed with questions and needs. Your marriage is falling apart and this lawyer does not seem to get it. She/he is asking you all kinds of questions yet this lawyer seems to be either unable or simply unwilling to answer your simplest questions! How long will this take? How much will it cost? What will I end up with? What do you mean “it depends”; I thought you were an ‘expert’?!?! The basic source of the frustration you feel is that you and the attorney are...
Talking With…. A Collaboratively Divorced Co...
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In September of 2013, the Nelsons marriage was dissolved. They had made a choice from the start that they wanted to avoid conflict, argument, acrimony. So they used the Collaborative Practice process to reach the decisions they needed in order to end their marriage. They very generously agreed to chat about their difficult but positive experience and share their encouragement that other couples use the process that served them well. With much thanks to Pamela and Tyler Nelson, and to their attorneys Joryn Jenkins and Adam B. Cordover, here is our chat: Note for professionals: Adam and Joryn are very involved in the Collaborative Divorce...
GOING HOME – 3 of 3: ROOTS
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Our roots give context to the work we do as Collaborative practitioners. Our ability to work in teams, to assist our clients, and to grow as professionals is in large part influenced by our roots. This is the third installment of a three-part report of my recent visit to my hometown of Omaha, NE. The first installment, Going Home: The Little Things, discussed the little things essential to quality Collaborative Practice. The second installment, Going Home: Inter-Practice Group Relations, focused on what can be learned from relations “between” practice groups and that it can be missed if our focus is entirely on the work we do “within”...
RESISTANCE TO RESILIENCE: USING APOLOGY TO UNLOCK ...
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A properly formulated apology can both provide consolation and restore integrity between clients in dispute resolution. Facilitators can encourage apologies to clear the air, relieve stress and create an atmosphere of improved communication to achieve settlement. In addition to these substantial process benefits, an apology has the potential to transform the participants through neurological changes which impact the attitude of everyone at the table. The facilitator, in collaboration or mediation, has an opportunity to address barriers to communication by recognizing that particular incidents or events may be at the heart of conflict and...
Why Pro Bono Collaborative Divorces … and How
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I have always been a trial lawyer. And I am, among other things, a family lawyer. So, in the old days, I used to do divorces pro bono because it was an easy way for me to give back to my community. And I believe in giving back to the community. So that was a no-brainer. After I a couple of years giving back in this fashion, I became dis-enamored with the concept. Why? Well, when your lawyer is free, and when the opposing party is representing himself because he is too poor to afford the luxury of a lawyer, that leaves YOU BOTH free to fight over every little thing, including the broken dishwasher. Oy, vey! So I told our local...
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