Authors of Navigating Emotional Currents in Collaborative Divorce: A Guide to Enlightened Team Practice Questions posed by Kevin R. Scudder, Collaborative Attorney, Seattle, WA Kate and Lisa: You wrote your book Navigating Emotional Currents in Collaborative Divorce in 2010. The book has been instrumental to me and other Collaborative Practitioners. I believe that your book is a must-read for anyone, Coach, Child Specialist, Financial or Lawyer, who wants to work in Collaborative Law. I said as much in the review of your book posted in the World of Collaborative Practice at https://theworldofcollaborativepractice.com/?p=1626  and suggested...

Productive dialogue is essential in the Collaborative Practice approach to Divorce.  That requires both self awareness AND genuine empathy for the other person… whether colleague, client or soon-to-be-ex.  I spent some time with Cat Zavis talking about how we can each make that possible during Divorce. Cat Zavis has upcoming trainings for collaborative professionals, mediators, and parents (among others) to help them navigate conflict (both inner and outer) with greater skill and success: Cat is offering a FREE teleclass for divorced or divorcing Co-Parents  on Monday, February 10th, 5:00 PM – 6:30 PM Pacific Time.  This FREE...

Ms. Gladel gives an overview of the history of Collaborative Practice in France, from its origins in the work of two Harvard Law professors to the application in the French system.  She notes that the traditional system can be fraught with delays that ultimately violate the petitioners human rights and that the Collaborative method is growing because of its ability to work with the parties more efficiently without the restrictions of the court docket.  The goals, advantages and processes are clearly defined and illustrated with charts and diagrams for clarity.  Collaborative is also compared to other ADR methods to demonstrate the...

Many times people feel frustrated when they meet with an attorney about their divorce.  You have had the courage to make the appointment.  You are overwhelmed with questions and needs.  Your marriage is falling apart and this lawyer does not seem to get it.  She/he is asking you all kinds of questions yet this lawyer seems to be either unable or simply unwilling to answer your simplest questions!  How long will this take?  How much will it cost?  What will I end up with?  What do you mean “it depends”; I thought you were an ‘expert’?!?! The basic source of the frustration you feel is that you and the attorney are...

In September of 2013, the Nelsons marriage was dissolved.  They had made a choice from the start that they wanted to avoid conflict, argument, acrimony.  So they used the Collaborative Practice process to reach the decisions they needed in order to end their marriage. They very generously agreed to chat about their difficult but positive experience and share their encouragement that other couples use the process that served them well. With much thanks to Pamela and Tyler Nelson, and to their attorneys Joryn Jenkins and Adam B. Cordover, here is our chat: Note for professionals: Adam and Joryn are very involved in the Collaborative Divorce...

Our roots give context to the work we do as Collaborative practitioners.  Our ability to work in teams, to assist our clients, and to grow as professionals is in large part influenced by our roots. This is the third installment of a three-part report of my recent visit to my hometown of Omaha, NE.  The first installment, Going Home:  The Little Things, discussed the little things essential to quality Collaborative Practice.  The second installment, Going Home: Inter-Practice Group Relations, focused on what can be learned from relations “between” practice groups and that it can be missed if our focus is entirely on the work we do “within”...

A properly formulated apology can both provide consolation and restore integrity between clients in dispute resolution. Facilitators can encourage apologies to clear the air, relieve stress and create an atmosphere of improved communication to achieve settlement. In addition to these substantial process benefits, an apology has the potential to transform the participants through neurological changes which impact the attitude of everyone at the table. The facilitator, in collaboration or mediation, has an opportunity to address barriers to communication by recognizing that particular incidents or events may be at the heart of conflict and...

I have always been a trial lawyer.  And I am, among other things, a family lawyer.  So, in the old days, I used to do divorces pro bono because it was an easy way for me to give back to my community.  And I believe in giving back to the community.  So that was a no-brainer.  After I a couple of years giving back in this fashion, I became dis-enamored with the concept.  Why?  Well, when your lawyer is free, and when the opposing party is representing himself because he is too poor to afford the luxury of a lawyer, that leaves YOU BOTH free to fight over every little thing, including the broken dishwasher.  Oy, vey!  So I told our local...

What makes for effective Collaborative Practice?  The author shares thoughts gleaned from a personal journey.  [part 1 is here] Good Practice Group health is essential to the health of Collaborative Practice as a whole. Most of the energy that we put into our practice group work involves intra-Practice Group relations.  “Intra” denotes “inside” or “internal”.  Intra-Practice Group relations describes everything we do individually within each of our practice groups, from attending meetings, studying Collaborative literature, attending trainings, networking, public speaking, making presentations, and developing relationships with other...

BEGINNING ANEW COLLABORATIVELY Not all divorcing spouses want to engage in nasty court battles. Such is the case of Tyler Nelson and Pamela Burton, who decided to end their marriage on an amicable basis without consuming years in costly and contentious litigation.  They decided to use a form of private dispute resolution known as collaborative divorce for their child’s sake, under the tutelage of trained professionals, to forge a new and different bond as co-parents for the rest of their lives. And, on September 20, 2013, they set a precedent as the first pro bono collaborative divorce ever completed in the state of Florida. [The term...

What makes for effective Collaborative Practice?  The author shares thoughts gleaned from a personal journey.  Prelude: I recently travelled to the place I was born, Omaha, NE, to visit my father, to attend my 35th High School Reunion, and to meet with members of the Collaborative Practice Nebraska practice group to learn about the state of Collaborative Practice in my hometown. Going Home. This trip proved to be fertile ground indeed, so much so that I have organized my thoughts into three parts.  This one is about doing the little things. I had a chance encounter in Omaha with a young woman named Deb, the receptionist for Kelle Westland,...

The OCFLA[1] was originally conceived in 2007, by members of a Collaborative Law sub-committee of a Supreme Court Advisory Committee on Alternative Dispute Resolution for Children and Families.  Five (5) years later, the 129th General Assembly passed the Ohio Collaborative Family Law Act (OCFLA), effective on March 22, 2013.[2]  In so doing, the legislature provided Ohio families with a common sense approach to avoiding antagonistic and costly divorce litigation.  The legislature saw fit to codify what is commonly known as Collaborative Practice[3] and added this contractually-based, voluntary method for solving family law issues, to...

I am seeing more and more clients – especially those who have previously experienced marriage and divorce – come to my office to learn about prenuptial (also known as premarital) agreements. Though they certainly do not go into the marriage planning to divorce, they know the statistics and want a prenuptial agreement to protect them and ensure that they do not get trapped in endless litigation later on. At the same time, I find fewer and fewer family law attorneys who are willing to draft prenuptial agreements. Lawyers fear that, for whatever reason, the agreement could later be found to be unenforceable. Void prenuptial agreements create,...

L’Istituto Italiano di Diritto Collaborativo – Italian Institute for Collaborative Law, founded at the end of 2009 and formally constituted on 12 January 2010, is the natural development of a 15-year experience carried forward by a fairly homogeneous group of lawyers and other passionate supporters of Family Law and Mediation practicing mainly in the Capital.  [Per la versione dell’autore in italiano, clicca qui.] The following developments are the important precursors to the development of the Institute: The Courses for Family Mediators in the Legal Field, sponsored by the National Lawyers Association in the period 2001-2003 The work...

When a Collaborative client is in therapy as they go through their divorce, they will often say things such as:  “My therapist thinks you guys don’t understand what a liar my husband is.  She thinks I should consider hiring a different lawyer.” “My therapist doesn’t understand why my wife and I can’t meet with him to do our parenting plan.” “Could you talk to my therapist? I don’t know how to explain to her why this process is taking so long.” And it makes sense.  They are linked up to the emotional life support offered by two simultaneous processes.  And while these processes, therapy and Collaborative Practice, are both based on...

In almost every consultation, the prospective clients have two questions – how long will this take and what will be the cost?  The standard answer is always, “Well it will depend on how many issues we have to resolve and how well you and your spouse are willing to work together.” After the divorce is finalized, I sometimes receive feedback that they didn’t realize it was going to take so long or cost so much. This, of course, is the unpredictable nature of the practice. To address this opportunity for improvement, we have started a 2-day divorce program or The Divorce Weekend that charges a flat fee. The fees are paid before the weekend is...

Traditionally, the first part of every year is very busy for divorce filings.  There is no added legal benefit to filing this time of year, though many observers think it is most popular because the Christmas holidays have caused an imminent filing to be pushed off. Of course, 2013 might even tip the scales more than usual because of the uncertain economy.   Because of this and the decline of the real estate market over the years the retirement plan has taken the spot from the family home as the largest single marital asset for division in the event of dissolution of marriage. A basic understanding of some of the rules and requirements for...

Recent statistics show that the decision to marry is losing popularity. It has also been statistically demonstrated that one out of two first marriages and three out of four second marriages end in divorce. Generations ago, divorce was perceived with a lot of stigma and while that perspective has somewhat improved, divorce is still frequently regarded as the launch into the fight of one’s life. Maybe this is one reason why people are opting out of marriage altogether. Maybe marriage wouldn’t be losing sociological ground if the divorcing population began to choose a divorce that is moral and honorable in its approach. Every...