The Collaborative Practice Team of Professionals as your “crew” when the sailing gets rough. ed. People are becoming increasingly vocal about the fact that lawyers and the legal system are not equipped to properly address the emotional issues involved in family law matters. Judge Michele Lowrance, a domestic relations judge in the Circuit Court of Illinois, wrote in her book titled The Good Karma Divorce (Lowrance, 2010), “The court system was not built to house these emotions, and attorneys are not trained to reduce this kind of suffering. Divorcing people expect relief far beyond what the legal realm can provide from their...
From Courtship to Court. Do you need litigation?
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by Lee Chabin, Esq. Here are some additional thoughts from Mr. Chabin on the value of the Collaborative Practice approach to divorce: http://www.nyparenting.com/stories/2013/2/fp_divorcecolumn_2013_02.html Every divorcing couple has a choice to make: How will we get divorced? What process shall we use? The answer can have tremendous repercussions, emotionally as well as financially for your children as well as for yourselves. In this column, I will discuss one process: Litigation (going to court). Litigation is usually the most expensive, antagonistic and emotionally difficult process for ending a marriage. I’m...
The Heart and Collaborative Practice
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Involving our hearts in Collaborative Practice is not just a metaphor. The organ that pumps our blood, also contributes to our thoughts. Check out what Stu Webb and Deborah Brakeley had to say about actively involving our actual hearts. Work that they’ve been sharing for several years at the IACP Forum along with Peggy Thompson and Jennifer Tull, who were not able to join us for this conversation. This heart work makes for interesting companion thoughts as research also tells us more about the brain. See my interview with Pauline Tesler for those advances. “Our ordinary mind always tries to persuade us that we are nothing...
Starting Off Well
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The Initial Interview. The professional / client relationship begins there. And goes smoothly – or haltingly – forward, or possibly downward. Particularly in Collaborative Practice matters, that first meeting can impact the functioning of the entire Team, including the clients. I sat with Woody Mosten and Susan Gamache, two well known Collaborative professionals who have each begun to offer training for professionals focused on this critical, but often under explored, part of the process. Here’s the video Read about the trainings they offer here: click on ‘slideshare’ to print your own copy of these....
Reclaiming Law as a Healing Profession
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Pauline Tesler, our friend and the Director of the new Integrative Law Institute at Commonweal, talks to us about just what is Integrative Law and how it will be changing how all attorneys see, and do, their work. You can follow ILI at their blog here and at facebook here. Check out their first training in January 2013: Registration is available by clicking here Click ‘slideshare’ above to download or print a copy of this material. ************* “Talking with…” is an ongoing set of videotaped discussions between carl Michael rossi and others who train, practice and/or have an interest in Collaborative Practice....
Integrating Clients’ Faith in the Collaborat...
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‘People of faith’ do face divorce. It can present them with additional challenges in terms of available support and in maintaining their very faith. It can seem as if they must leave their faith at the door as they enter the divorce process. Danette Perry, MBA, MSW, LSW, has been actively working within the Collaborative Practice process, along with other local professionals, to integrate clients’ faith and related concerns within the process. Within the Collaborative Practice approach there is a great opportunity to, as she puts it “…embrace our beliefs and integrate the virtues of our faith… [and...
Preventive Law and Collaborative Practice
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Once the clients have used my conflict resolution services “my job as a preventive lawyer is just beginning.” – Woody Mosten This attitude that our work is not ‘done’ simply because the clients are now divorced, or because the parties have reached an agreement, is a key part of the Paradigm Shift involved in Collaborative Practice. Having seen this connection in Woody’s chapter for the upcoming ABA book Reinventing the Practice of Law, I thought I would ask him to expand upon it. Here’s our chat. We’d love to continue this theme with the benefit of your comments! Click here to check out the...
Barking up the Wrong Tree:
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Understanding a Child’s Resistance to Visitation With the increase in claims of parental alienation in custody disputes, family lawyers must understand the fine distinctions between true parental alienation and other forms of visitation refusal. Otherwise, you may claim parental alienation on a case or end up defending against it without fully understanding other options. To avoid barking up the wrong tree, it is imperative to understand the difference between full blown parental alienation, alignment, estrangement, enmeshment, alienating behaviors without resistance and normal developmental visitation refusal. Parental alienation is a...
Navigating Emotional...
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***** Kevin follows this up with “10 Questions” of the authors here ***** Reading a book as an interdisciplinary practice group provides enhanced value and greater understanding of the material. I recently had this experience when our weekly practice group, Cypress Collaborative...
Money and Divorce
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“Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.” – Richard Wagner The collaborative process uses a team based approach to help you and your spouse come to a mutually acceptable agreement, stay out of the courtroom, and move forward with your lives. You may decide, in consultation with your attorneys, to use a financial neutral within the collaborative process to help you reach agreement about the financial issues. Just how can the financial neutral help you? Financial Mistrust The financial neutral can help address issues of...
Collaborative Practice in Trusts & Estates
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Families experience stress and conflict in preparing for and sorting out the transfer of assets when one member passes away. There are legal influences, financial considerations and emotional elements. Just as there are in divorce. Can they benefit from the principles an application of Collaborative Practice? In September, 2012, a group of professionals, sponsored by Collaborative Practice Silicon Valley, offered a training tailored to using CP in Trusts and Estates matters. I had a chance to speak with two of the attendees to get their thoughts on this cutting edge expansion of CP. Their excitement is pretty contagious, check it out...
Back from the Brink. At the Forum
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There is an expectation to be transparent, honest, and candid during the collaborative process. It is also an opportunity, due to the safe and secure environment that is created, to ‘drop bombs’ that might not ordinarily be communicated by the clients one-on-one. In this manner, the safety of the team can become a double edged sword as it can lead to sudden disclosures that rattle the structure and foundation of the process and challenge the team. Using real life situations, the Back from the Brink Workshop will explore the form and content of sudden disclosures and the strategies that can be employed by the collaborative team...
The Cost of Divorce to Employers
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Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, PhD, in this interview discusses some of the costs of divorce that are not always considered. She includes references to how Collaborative Practice can help in reducing those costs, both financial AND secondary. With thanks to the online radio program: Insurance Matters with Mindy Guisewite by Perfect World Network Radio Listen to internet radio with Perfect World Network Radio on Blog Talk Radio qw Gloria Vanderhorst, Ph.D. is a Licensed Psychologist with over 35 years of experi-ence. She is a trained mediator and Collaborative Divorce professional active in a number of professional organizations. She is...
A New Metaphor for Separation, Divorce and Remarri...
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“You do not perceive something until you have the right metaphor to receive it” – Thomas Kuhn in The Structure of Scientific Revolutions Metaphors are powerful vehicles of communication. They synthesize amounts of information into a single, unified package. Perhaps less obvious, they encourage us to SCREEN OUT aspects of a phenomenon that DO NOT FIT with the chosen metaphor. Such is the case with the metaphor we currently use to describe divorce and remarriage. The current metaphors prevent us from seeing important aspects of the divorce/remarriage process and discourage us from moving...
COLLABORATIVE LAW: INTRODUCTION
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The Ohio Rules of Professional Conduct remind us, that as attorneys we function not only as advocates in adversarial situations, but also as negotiators, evaluators and advisors.[1] The Rules outline our affirmative duty to provide information reasonably necessary to inform clients or other persons seeking our advice of the advantages and disadvantages of proposed courses of conduct which includes discussion of the client’s or other person’s options and alternatives.[2] The Rules also provide that it is our clients who determine the scope of our representation and that we must respect our clients’ decisions concerning the objectives...
Lawyers as Clients
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Sometimes lawyers and other professionals get into legal disputes. How do they handle those disputes? What is it like to have them as clients? What can we learn about ourselves as practitioners and what can we take from those experiences to make us better practitioners when we are working with other clients? Don’t forget to add your thoughts and questions in the comment section below. This is “Talking With….” Woody Mosten, 9 (Would you like to join us for a future conversation? We occasionally invite up to four people. Sign up here for our email list. We send out notices and details of when and how you can join in...
A COMMITMENT TO COLLABORATIVE EXCELLENCE: FOUR POI...
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Think about an athlete. To excel in any sport, whether individual or team, an athlete does not simply walk out on the playing field and compete. There is an incredible amount of work that goes into being a top-notched athlete: the training; the nutrition; the psychological work; and the support of those around the athlete. By the time the athlete’s event takes place the idea of “winning” the event is absent from the athlete’s mind. Instead, the athlete’s focus is on breathing, on form, on the mechanics of how their body moves. If the athlete does all the little things well, while not everyone can win, the athlete will realize success....
Your Best Divorce No...
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Kevin Karlson, JD, PhD’s book begins with an explanation of some of the main reasons people opt for a divorce and the factors that need to be considered before making this life-altering decision. He confirms that the majority of couples that divorce are low-conflict couples, who simply can...
IACP Forum: Should I...
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IACP Forum: Should I Stay or Should I Go? The “Forum” refers to the Networking and Educational Forum of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, one of their annual events. Its 13th occurrence is October, 2012. We add these comments because we believe that...
Peacemaking as a Pro...
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You like Collaborative Practice but struggle with the question… Can I make a living doing this? Woody and carl Michael talk about their combined 25+ years as full time peacemakers. What does it take? What are the ‘risks’? What are the ‘rewards’? Woody offers...
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